Toomanywires

I could've played Resident Evil Requiem. In fact, I almost did. But I didn't. Instead, I played Max Payne 2: The Fall of Max Payne. A game from 2003, which is ages ago. The blurb on the back of the box promises an INTENSE CINEMATIC 3D ACTION GAME WITH UNIQUE BULLET TIME GAMEPLAY, which is an extremely-2003 collection of words. I have yet to play anything released this year. Instead, I have been discovering and revisiting older experiences. This isn't a conscious rejection of the Modern, nor a disinterest in games that don't scream UNIQUE BULLET TIME. No, my avoidance of 2026 largely stems from a desire to put a dent in the backlog and to play the games that I already have at home.  To be honest, it's also due to a slight disinterest in the year thus far, and a distaste for recent developments in the video game space. Price increases and talk of $1000 next-gen consoles is all a bit off-putting, isn't it? A tad unsavoury. Makes you want to play something you alrea...

Vanessa Z Schneider appears out of thin air. She's an unwelcome guest on "colonized planet Ode". She's immediately greeted by a pair of guns-on-hovercraft robots, and they are not friendly. She remains unfazed, however, and continues to nod along to a spot of drum & bass. The robots open fire, but Vanessa stays rooted to the spot, confidently allowing the shots to harmlessly whistle past her. She continues her head-nodding. More lasers, but this time she takes evasive actions, and effortlessly executes a back flip. She lands and resumes head nodding. She spins left, then pulls off a side-strafe scissor kick that would put a less balletic hero in the emergency room. Still nodding, lost in the music. Finally, she goes on the offensive, firing a deadly barrage of lasers from her palms. Big explosions, and then robot guts scattered over sand dunes. Vanessa strikes a pose, and the opening movie ends. Everything effortless and graceful. Then I take over, and it all goes...

Bloodborne? Completed it, mate. My favourite Bloodborne boss? No idea, sorry. I swear I beat it though. I finished the DLC too. But it's been over a decade and all I can remember are shapes and vibes. A moment here, a moment there - a memorable conversation, a dank alley, or a foe that killed me several dozen times. I have similar issues with all the other Souls-family games. I played them all, enjoyed them, but would struggle to discuss details. You'd love to have me on your podcast! I can vividly remember how those games made me feel, and how they felt to play, but I'm sketchy on the details.  To be fair, Bloodborne was ten years ago, and a lot has happened in the last decade. You may have noticed? But it's not just Bloodborne and its cousins that I struggle to recollect. For example, it's embarrassing how little I can remember of Clair Obscur: Expedition 33, which was my favourite game of last year . Obviously I can still recall the shape of it, the main characte...

I was hopelessly lost. I thought it would be easy to resume my adventure after a few days away, but no. Three days removed from last playing Final Fantasy V Advance, and I had no idea where I was, what I'd been doing, or where I was headed. Bartz, Lenna, Galuf, Faris and I, confused in a cave. My memory may be faltering, but FFV isn't exactly great at giving hints or reminders. A few days away is all it takes to become utterly lost when there are no mission markers, no mission log, a very limited map, and several hundred caves that all look the same. It hasn't helped that the online guide I've been checking keeps refreshing and losing my spot on the page. I think I was supposed to be doing something in a cave? Ctrl+F "cave" - 127 results! Brilliant. I was looking for something I could sink my teeth into over the winter holiday. I wanted to make use of my Analogue Pocket, ideally while wrapped up warm on the sofa, with the Christmas tree in view. Nice and cozy....