ActRaiser Blazing Lazers Bases Loaded Mega Turrican

I played Mega Turrican the other day. 

I had twenty minutes to spare, there was no football on, and I fancied trying something new. New to me anyway. So I scrolled through the games on my Analogue Pocket and Mega Turrican is where I came to a stop. I knew of it, and I recognised the name from the Nirvana The Band The Show's Wii Shop Wednesday song, which was enough to convince me to load it up.

It was OK, I suppose. I didn't get very far because old games are hard and my fingers and brain don't work like they used to.

Having turned off my Pocket, I immediately stopped thinking about Mega Turrican. However, Wii Shop Wednesday continued to play on loop in my head.

I started to have some ideas. 

I have lots of ideas but most of them amount to nothing. I lose interest or simply lack the time or resources to act upon them. My blog drafts are full of thoughts that were never explored beyond an opening paragraph or a poorly-ordered set of bullet points; for every social media post I share, there are five that died on the vine. Fuck knows how many podcast ideas I've mulled and rejected. 

Anyway, my brain continued to spin Wii Shop Wednesday. As I took in the lyrics, it struck me how few of the featured games I've actually played. I didn't get much use out of the Wii Shop, which would've been my best opportunity to play many of these titles, as my Wii wasn't consistently online until late in its life, which was when it became our Joy Sound Karaoke machine.

I started to daydream about writing a series of posts, or creating a podcast, which chronicles my attempts to play every game mentioned in Wii Shop Wednesday. It seemed like a great idea for all of thirty seconds, after which I accepted that I have neither the time nor the passion to do that project justice. Also, I'd have to play loads of old games, which is rough.

In place of something better, let's go through the lyrics line by line and see if any words fall out of me. This won't take as long, and I'll feel like I've achieved something.

 Feel free to sing along.

♫Super Mario RPG♫

I have no idea why you'd put Mario in an RPG. Never played it; sounds awful.

Sonic the Hedgehog, Donkey Kong 3

Sonic the Hedgehog was, along with Alex Kid in Miracle World, my first video game. To this day, and I swear this isn't me doing a bit, I prefer the 8-bit version to the 16-bit. As for Donkey Kong 3, no.

Adventures of Lolo 1 and 2

I thought I knew every video game, but this pair had me stumped. I've googled the series and can report that Lolo looks like Dizzy's long lost cousin. Perhaps Lolo should've stayed lost.

King's Knight, Dig Dug, Chew Man Fu

Chew Man Fu was a PC Engine exclusive, and that explains why I'd never heard of it pre-Wednesday. I don't think I was even aware of the PC Engine's existence until the mid-2000s, which was when I first moved to Japan. Back in the 90s, it wasn't something that came up in polite conversation, and none of the mags I read were covering it. I remain poorly educated on topic, having missed the opportunity to pick up a PC Engine Mini when they were heavily discounted a few years ago. Maybe I should play through the entire PC library and make a podcast series about it?

Harvest Moon
I'm not that into agriculture.

League Puzzle Pokémon

I was just that little bit too old for Pokemon. When it first launched in the UK, I was preoccupied with sports games and survival horror. While the entire series may have passed me by, I am now a Pokemon card expert by association, thanks to my daughter.

ToeJam & Earl in Panic on Funkotron

Was ToeJam & Earl actually good? I've played bits and bobs, here and there, and didn't enjoy any of it. Perhaps my mistake was not playing Panic on Funkotron when I was ten years old?

Castlevania, Fatal Fury, Ninja JaJaMaru-kun

I've not put more than an hour into any single Castlevania. I own a copy of Symphony of the Night for the Saturn, which I grabbed from a junk bin for pennies back in the mid-2000s, back when you could find things like Symphony of the Night in a junk bin. I think it's now worth the best part of 20,000 yen, which makes me a millionaire. As for Fatal Fury, I was going to say that it's good but it ain't no Streets of Rage, but then I realised I was thinking of Final Fight! Whatever.

ActRaiser, Blazing Lazers, Bases Loaded, Mega Turrican

I have played one of these games.

Cybernator, Rolling Thunder, Dynastic Hero

Apparently, Dynastic Hero is a re-skin of sorts of Wonder Boy in Monster World. Fascinating.

Bubble Bobble, Double Dribble, Double Dragon, F-Zero

Bubble Bobble is a classic, I like what little I've played of F-Zero, but I've never double dribbled in my life. I'm too sound of a ball-handler. Double Dragon was a childhood staple, and one of the few games in my Master System library that I actually finished multiple times as a kid. It was my earliest experience of co-operative gaming, shared with my brother, and one that ended in tears, obviously.

F-Zero X

I didn't know there were ten F-Zeros.

and Donkey Kong Jr. Math

Why would you put maths in a computer game? You're not supposed to learn things from video games, and that's why they're good.

Ninja Gaiden 1, Ninja Gaiden 2, Ninja Gaiden 3

My experience with Ninja Gaiden begins with the Team Ninja entries. When I picture 8 and 16-bit Ninjas, I think of the ludicrously difficult The Ninja on Sega Master System and several Shinobi games where I failed to progress beyond the first stage.

Cruis'n USA

This looks familiar. I might've played it in the arcade? Looks like something I would've wasted 50p on at a friend's birthday at Quasar Laser. 

Aaaahhh!