Toomanywires

I am currently in the midst of my annual FPS pilgrimage to the world of Death Match, by way of Call of Duty. I have finished and thoroughly enjoyed Modern Warfare 3’s ridiculous single player and have now turned my attention to the ever-addictive multiplayer. I’ll keep plugging away at it for the next couple of weeks, until I eventually lose interest and move onto something else (Skyrim?). But for now, I’m in deep and struggling to tear myself away from the on-screen carnage. As I have done in the past with John Marston , Kazuma Kiryu and a Helghast grunt , I thought I’d compile a Day in the Life of… diary for MW3, only this time with a bit of a twist. Instead of coming from the perspective of a fictional character, this one is all about me as I embark upon on a (slightly) exaggerated evening of mindless fragging. 10.00 pm - Right, tonight I am definitely playing the last hour of ICO. I shall put it off no longer. 10.02 pm - At the Modern Warfare 3 main menu. 10.04 pm - I...

I finally bought Killzone 3 a couple of weeks ago. I have really enjoyed blasting my way through legions of Helghast - the intergalactic, cockney Nazis who spend the whole game on the wrong end of a machine gun - and feel that overall it is an improvement on KZ2. Much like I have done in the past for Yakuza's Kazuma Kiryu and Red Dead Redemption's John Marston , here is a tongue-in-cheek diary entry of an unfortunate, Helghast grunt. Warning: The following post contains traces of Cockney rhyming slang. 4.30 am - Cor blimey guvnor, its brass monkeys this morning and I've only gone and landed the early morning guard shift. 6.00 am – I have spent the last hour stationed next to an explosive barrel. I need to speak with health and safety. 8.00 am - Guard duty is over and it’s time for a spot of propaganda at a huge military rally. 8.15 am - I’m surrounded by red, black and white insignia. Rousing and hateful rhetoric is blaring through loudspeakers and is being l...

I was a late comer to the Yakuza series, missing the first two entries entirely and playing Yakuza 3 for the first time earlier this year. Suitably impressed, I picked up Yakuza 4 soon after release and have been enjoying it ever since. Although it differs from the rest of the series by offering a playable ensemble cast, Kazuma Kiryu is still unquestionably the star of the show – the barometer by which all his peers are measured. There is never a dull moment for Kazuma. He is a kind-hearted soul who dedicates his life to running an orphanage, but also an ex-gangster who is all too easily drawn back into the world of crime and violence he claims to have left behind. He has much in common with Red Dead Redemption’s protagonist John Marston – an ex-outlaw who walks away from his life of crime, yet is unable to fully extricate himself from it. Much like I did for John Marston last year , here is a tongue-in-cheek entry from the diary of everyone’s favourite stoic Yakuza, the Dragon of D...

Here is a little something about one of my favourite games this year, Red Dead Redemption: a day in the life of RDR protagonist, John Marston. 5.01am – I woke up to see the most beautiful sun rise over the Mexican hills, with bird-people sweeping majestically through the morning sky. 6.30am – Not sure if I’m still feeling the effects of those Tequilas from last night, but I swear I just saw a mule-faced woman. I was more surprised than a slut dog with her first porcupine. 9.45 am– Just sold the shopkeeper four wolf hearts, 10lbs of dog meat and a baker’s dozen of pigeon arses. I swear he’d buy anything. 12.40pm – Suddenly found myself in the mood for mischief so I abducted a lady of the night from a local watering hole, and left her on the train tracks, hogtied. When the train finally arrived, she made a wonderful mess. It’s really not like me, but every time I put on this bandana I just get so carried away. Then I take it off, and it’s like nothing ever happened. 1.45pm – ...