The GTA V Trailer in 83 Words

Preamble (these words don’t count towards 83): The internet loves video game trailers. It also loves wasting hundreds of thousands of words analysing said trailers, cataloguing even the most minute and mundane details (see my rather accurate reading of the Resident Evil 6 trailer from earlier this year). I’m on the internet, so I thought I’d celebrate today's Grand Theft Auto V trailer no. 2 with a mega-post chock-full of pictures, descriptions of pictures and rampant speculation, but then I remembered that I have no time to write it and that such articles are usually as interesting as a Desmond. Not wanting to be left out, I settled on an 83 word break-down instead.


LA, back tattoos and shouty women make Tony Soprano turn to poolside whiskeys. Swearing, drugs and guns all feature in the opening 30 seconds, a potent cocktail that will have tabloid editors puking in excited disgust. Cars, violence, cars, violence, black guys, cars being violent. There’s talk of children (AJ?) and we see a drug-dealing Rottweiler, which might be DLC. Cars. Three men jest as a jet fighter kills a helicopter. Men are shocked. GTA V, Spring 2013.

I love Stevie Wonder. Fin.


Odds & Ends

1. I’ve been struggling of late to find the time to blog. Most evenings, I’ll have the time to either play games or write about them, and I always opt for the stick twiddling. However, tonight I’ve been blessed with a topic deserving of so few words that I actually found time to write about it! I'm looking forward to GTA V and am excited by what i've seen thus far, but I am already fed up with the sheer volume of coverage (IGN) given over to a 90 second trailer for an already announced game, coverage that I realise I have just added to. Bollocks

2. Despite the aforementioned lack of time, I’ve managed to plow through a couple of games in the last month or so. I finished Resident Evil 6 (mildly depressing), raced through Spec Ops: The Line (bog standard third-person-shooter gameplay brought to life by an engaging story and inspired setting), spent an hour or two with Dyad (love it) and have failed to start my imported copy of 999: Nine hours, Nine persons, Nine doors ahead of the sequel’s release later this month. I’m nearing the end of Assassin’s Creed 3 (more on that soon) and will be getting stuck into CoD Black Ops 2 very shortly. Also, Dragon’s Dogma finally stopped being £35 - my copy is in the post and I hope to commence ogre slaying before the end of the year.


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