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Showing posts from May, 2017

Animal Quest-Givers

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I was minding my own business. The English guy with the hair was sharing recipe ideas, muscles was grunting and the little one was attempting some banter, and missing by a mile. Business as usual for Final Fantasy XV's superfriends.
I was minding my own when a cat decided to give me a side quest. Me, Nigel, the heir-apparent of a kingdom I know nothing about, who's traveling to a funeral or something with some other guys in a car. I'm in a real rush and this cat's all up in my face. 
A wedding! The boys and I are going to a wedding, possibly mine, though I'm not sure which of my buddies I’m marrying. 
Anyway, this cat. He knows I can't resist a quest-giving animal, no matter how much of a rush I'm in, so he plonks himself in my path and waits. A fluffy roadblock, stuffed with XP. He knows I'll approach and press X to interact and/or jump on the spot a few times - why on earth would you map interact and jump to the same button? I take the bait, jump on …

I Don't Have Time

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I’m done with Dark Souls 3. I finished the main game in around forty five hours last year, and then returned twice for the DLC and a further fifteen hours of hack-roll-estus-hack-estus-estus-roll-roll-roll-estus-bonfire. It was an excellent game, albeit one that had clearly run out of new ideas.

Sixty five is a lot of hours. You could watch The Wire from start to finish in that time, or even play through the majority of Persona 5’s tutorials, or so I’m told. In DS3's case, I stretched those hours out over the course of a year and was motivated to return for each slice of DLC, so it didn’t seem too onerous. 
However, for the most part, I’m very reluctant to invest that kind of time into a game. This is a fairly new development, as I spent my youth pouring countless hours into NBA Live and Final Fantasy – I was a rather unsociable child - and I’m only a few years removed from dedicating over a hundred hours to Skyrim and twice that to Monster Hunter 3 Ultimate. But I can no longer …

PlayStation 3 - 180 Sentences on 180 Games

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The PS3 has been discontinued in Japan after an eleven year run. To mark the occasion, I’ve written a couple of posts about my favourite console.

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That's right, I’ve written a sentence about every single game I played on the PS3! All 180 of them, because I like words and I like PS3 games.

If you like those things too, then boy are you in for a treat.*

.detuned – A “game” in which you dance around a chair until you sprout a trunk and start to wonder what you just wasted a fiver on.
50 Cent: Blood on the Sand – Where’s my skull, bitch?
After Burner Climax – Worth it for those blue, Sega skies.
Alex Kidd in Miracle World – This game had been kicking my arse since 1991, but thanks to save states I was finally able to beat it.
Aliens vs Predator – Yet another piss poor Aliens game.
Aliens: Colonial Marines – Fucking hell.
Assassin’s Creed – Many of the series’ defining features were already in place, but we’d have to wait another two years for good AC.
Assassin’s Creed II – Featuring beaut…