Toomanywires

Day one patches are very cool. Once I’ve removed the shrink-wrap from my brand new £35 game, I'll race to feed disc to console so that I may be among the first to download the precious, launch day curative patch. Before I'm allowed to play my new game, I’m invited to kick-start the final stage of development by pressing X and helping un-break a product that was otherwise fit for release. I love being involved. Of course, it’s not only consumers who adore day one patches. The promise of a digital band aid enables publishers to convince platform holders that their latest game isn't really broken at all, just temporarily not quite fixed, and is suitable for release. Clearly, this is a wonderful situation for all involved. This week's Medal of Honour: Warfighter is the latest big release to rely on a day one fix to get through Sony and Microsoft's oh-so strict certification process. Warfighter’s is no simple backward-flying-dragon or culturally-insensiti

1. Sleeping Dogs From the moment a blood splattered Wei Shen broke into a karaoke rendition of “I Fought the Law” by The Clash, I knew I was going to enjoy Sleeping Dogs. My trip to Triad infested Hong Kong lasted three entertaining weeks and was filled to the brim with mischief and extracurricular activities, with plenty remaining for a future return. Unlike a lot of open world games, Sleeping Dogs succeeds in telling a riveting story, even if it is rather derivative, and it is full of believable and interesting characters. Even with the constant distraction of a colourful and sprawling city, I never wandered too far from the core narrative, always eager to see where Shen, a cop who is consumed by his undercover life as a gangster, would wind up next. Some excellent voice acting brings the main characters to life in a mix of English and Chinese obscenities, though unfortunately the same cannot be said of the uninspired supporting cast and stereotypical citizens. “Why don&#

Resident Evil demands your respect. What started off in 1996 as a tongue-in-cheek survival horror has since evolved into an action heavy franchise, swapping its B movie credentials for an increased body count and extra fuck-yeah. While it may have mutated over the years, RE has remained a premier franchise - it is Capcom's zombie cash cow, on fire and chased by a helicopter made of muscles. Resident Evil is exciting, fully gunned-up and has undeniable staying power. In no way is it a 4.5 out of 10 As you may already be aware, Resident Evil 6, through no fault of its own, has received a critical panning. The reviews have ranged from misguided to outright libellous, single handily ruining the launch of the most important AAA game since Resident Evil 5. Gamespot - 4.5/10; IGN – 7.9/10; 1UP - C+; Destructoid - 3/10; Eurogamer 6/10; EDGE 6/10; local village newsletter 4/10 ….etc. What a bunch of cunts. I’ve had it up to here – you can’t see, but my hand is currently held