The Vita Has no Games


All signs point to the end of the Vita, with shipments of the remaining models set to end "soon".

To celebrate the life and mark the death of Sony's beautiful, ill-handled and ill-advised portable, I have written a poem.

The Vita has no Games
by me

The Vita has no games
said the man on the internet

Yes it does
said another
also on the internet

I can name plenty of exclusives worthy of your time
Examples of developers at the top of their craft
Especially if you like hentai games
rubbing the back of your Vita and looking daft

No wanky shit
said the man on the internet
The Vita has no games!

Then what would you call Persona 4 Golden
Lumines Electronic Symphony and Uncharted Golden Abyss?
No games you say
Are you taking the piss?

Retreads and derivatives
said the man on the internet
The Vita has no games!

Well how about indies?
Undertale, Thomas was Alone, Olli Olli and TxK
Excellent games made even better
by letting you choose where to play

No one bought a Vita for indies
said the man on the internet
The Vita has no games!

A filthy catalogue of PS1 and PSP titles
An OLED screen that was worth the dough
Remote play support 
And by far the best way to play MGS3 on the go

Yes that is excellent
said the man on the internet
The Vita had one game

Sorry about that

*

Disclaimer: There were in fact hundreds of games on the Vita and several of them were good.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Massacre at Guthrie Farm

The Best & Worst Games of 2018

Sekiro - Are You Enjoying This Game?