PlayStation 3 - 180 Sentences on 180 Games


The PS3 has been discontinued in Japan after an eleven year run. To mark the occasion, I’ve written a couple of posts about my favourite console.

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That's right, I’ve written a sentence about every single game I played on the PS3! All 180 of them, because I like words and I like PS3 games.

If you like those things too, then boy are you in for a treat.*

.detuned – A “game” in which you dance around a chair until you sprout a trunk and start to wonder what you just wasted a fiver on.
50 Cent: Blood on the Sand – Where’s my skull, bitch?
After Burner Climax – Worth it for those blue, Sega skies.
Alex Kidd in Miracle World – This game had been kicking my arse since 1991, but thanks to save states I was finally able to beat it.
Aliens vs Predator – Yet another piss poor Aliens game.
Aliens: Colonial Marines – Fucking hell.
Assassin’s Creed – Many of the series’ defining features were already in place, but we’d have to wait another two years for good AC.
Assassin’s Creed II – Featuring beautiful and recognisable settings, a charismatic lead and gameplay mechanics that still felt fresh, AC2 was a revelation and remains the best in the series.
Assassin's Creed Brotherhood - Multiplayer didn't do it for me, but this was still an excellent continuation of Ezio's story.
Assassin’s Creed Revelations – A decent end to the Ezio trilogy, though it continued the trend of slightly diminishing returns.
Assassin’s Creed III – I enjoyed the ship battles and celebrating Desmond's death, but otherwise AC3 was crap and proof of Ubisoft’s contempt for series fans.
Asura’s Wrath – It looked lovely but was light on gameplay and fucked everyone off with its DLC-only endings.
Batman Arkham Asylum – By far the best of the Arkham games, thanks to it’s linear and well told story, plus the usual bat-gadgetry.
Batman: Arkham City – It gave us a larger playground in which to act out our Batman fantasies, but in doing so it lost the focus that made Asylum special.
Batman: Arkham Origins – Another Arkham game that was poorer than the last.
Battlefield 1943 – Quick, everyone rush for the planes so we can crash them into the sea because the controls are impossible and boats are for losers who don’t like crashing planes into the sea.
Battlefield: Bad Company – I’m drawing a blank here, but my trophy list says I got thirteen trophies.
Battlefield: Bad Company 2 – A forgettable sequel to a game that I don’t recall playing.
Bayonetta – There were plenty of moments I enjoyed, but overall I thought it was uneven.
Binary Domain – Initially underrated, then somewhat overrated as people jumped on the bandwagon, and now properly rated as a rip-roaring but flawed adventure from the Yakuza team.
BioShock – Outstanding setting, a decent story and middling gameplay.
BioShock 2 – Again, nice setting, but I can’t recall anything beyond that.
BioShock Infinite – A terribly overrated game that failed to effectively combine story and gameplay.
Borderlands - I hated the humour, the writing, the characters and the art style but there was something to be said for its loot based combat.
Braid - I thoroughly disliked Braid.
Brothers – A lovely little game that I knew next to nothing about before playing.
Brutal Legend – Meh.
Burnout Paradise – I revisited Paradise earlier this year via Xbox One backwards comparability, and it was every bit as brilliant as I remembered it.
Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare – With an exemplary single player campaign and ahead of its time multiplayer, MW is the daddy of modern shooters.
Call of Duty: World at War – A bit racist.
Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 – The silly one where Russia invades the US and you shoot a bunch of Russians, while elsewhere a Soap saves a handle bar moustache from a prison for dangerous men with handlebar moustaches and a guy in a balaclava gets burned alive in first person, all of which was jolly good fun.
Call of Duty: Black Ops - I didn't really care for the Black Ops series, but the first game was decent enough with the bang bangs and oorahs.
Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 – A suitably silly and explosive end to the Modern Warfare trilogy.
Call of Duty: Black Ops II – For me, this was where the series started to lose its lustre.
Call of Duty Ghosts – Pretty forgettable.
Call of Juarez: Bound in Blood – The most overlooked and underrated FPS on the PS3.
Call of Juarez Gunslinger - A return to form after the cringe worthy Cartel.
Castlevania: Lords of Shadow – The production values were high, but otherwise this failed to wow me.
Child of Eden - I remember being rather disappointed at the time, but I’d be keen to revisit it now.
Crysis 2 - I was just going through the motions, playing this unremarkable shooter.
DJ Hero – “Hold my beer while I make this plastic deck sing” - me to myself, just before jumping into yet another mash-up on Freestyle’s excellent DJ Hero, while holding a beer.
DJ Hero 2 – The selection of tracks was more hit-and-miss than the original, but most of the new features were welcome and it was great to have another reason to bust out my decks.
DanceStar Party – I have no fucking clue.
Dante’s Inferno – An unabashed God of War clone; 70% as good but with 100% more crucifixes.


Dark Souls – Jubilant, rotten, punishing but most importantly fair, Dark Souls was trial and error perfected.
Dark Souls 2 – Certain qualities were lost from the original, but it was still outstanding.
The Darkness – An OK game that was noteworthy for containing the full version of the movie To Kill a Mockingbird, which you could watch with your dead girlfriend, as you do.
Dead Nation – I really like Super Stardust and adore Resogun, yet Dead Nation and I have never gotten on.
Dead Rising 2 – Crass, unrefined and repetitive but still an outright blast.
Dead Space – A wonderful start to a series that got less interesting with each successive entry.
Dead Space 2 - 25% less interesting than the first game.
Dead or Alive 5 - Tits?
Def Jam Rapstar - I got quite good at this, much to the annoyance of my wife who was routinely kept awake until the early hours by my drunken, yet flawless renditions of Biz Markie's "Just a Friend".
Demon’s Souls - I abandoned it twice, both times at around the ten hour mark, but would be keen to revisit it now, having since fallen in love with the Souls series.
Devil May Cry 4 – It was alright.
Dragon Age: Origins – Despite comic levels of gore and identi-kit NPCs, this was one of the best RPGs of the last gen.
Dragon Age II – Rushed and disappointingly restrictive, it was partially salvaged by an interesting cast and a half decent story.
Dragon’s Dogma – There were so many great ideas here, ideas which I hoped would carry over to a sequel, which was not to be.
Dyad – I’m not sure if this was brilliant or rubbish.
Enslaved – It came from a well-respected developer, had interesting source material, a famous script writer, movie actor mo-cap and voice acting, yet Enslaved didn’t quite live up to the hype.
FIFA 08 – Slightly newer than FIFA 07, but a little older than FIFA 09.
FIFA 09 – Football.
FIFA 10 – Football, 2010
Fallout 3 – I got lost a couple of hours in, gave up and haven’t touched a Fallout game since.
Far Cry 2 – A far more serious affair than subsequent Far Crys, but still very enjoyable.
Far Cry 3 – A much needed breather from the dozens of po-faced, linear shooters I played during the 7th Gen.
Far Cry 3 Blood Dragon – A neon nightmare of tired parody, flat one-liners and thankless gameplay loops (I didn’t like it).
Fat Princess – Friends on 1UP raved about this multiplayer RTS, but it did nothing for me.
Final Fantasy XIII – Interminably dull through the first twenty hours, then slightly more agreeable thereafter.
Final Fantasy XIII-2 – XIII did not need a sequel.
Final Fantasy XIV: A Realm Reborn – Despite a disastrous start, XIV has successfully straddled two generations, though I failed to get into it.
Final Fight: Double Impact – Fact: Final Fight is a poor man’s Streets of Rage.
Flower – Simple and beautiful.
God of War 3 – Technically impressive but just a little too repetitive.
God of War: Ascension – One GoW too many.
Grand Theft Auto IV – The first GTA to keep me engaged from start to finish.
Grand Theft Auto V – I thoroughly enjoyed it at the time, but didn’t feel compelled to return after the credits had rolled.
Guitar Hero 3: Legends of Rock – “Why is there a plastic guitar in our living room? And why are you wearing a bandanna?” My wife, circa 2009.
Heavy Rain – Although I enjoy having fun at its expense, HR was impressive at the time, with its use of branching story lines and the way it trJAAAAASON, JAAAAASON?
The House of the Dead: Overkill – Something to play with my PS Move, which I shouldn’t have bought.
ICO – I wanted to like this so much more, but the puzzles were dull and the combat was infuriatingly antiquated and unnecessary.
Infamous – My favourite superhero game, alongside Batman Arkham Asylum.
Infamous 2 – It might be better than the first game, but it wasn't quite as interesting the second time around.
Joe Danger - Joe Danger is better than No Man's Sky.
Joe Danger 2: The Movie – More of the same, which was great.


Journey – A fascinating game that I love to recommend to lapsed and new gamers alike.
Just Cause 2 - Chaotic fun at the expense of coherent narrative and characters, but that was fine with me.
Killzone 2 – Cor’ blimey guvna, I’m a space Nazi with rickets.
Killzone 3 – In many ways an improvement over K2, but I just can’t forgive that god awful ending.
LA Noire – A game of smoke and mirrors which promised so much, yet delivered so little.
The Last Guy - Pac Man + Google Maps = a game I quite like.
The Last of Us - A really good game which people mistook for a great one (comments are closed).
Limbo - A case of style over substance.
Little Big Planet – Yes, jumping was floaty, but if you don’t like LBP then you have no soul (or overvalue jump mechanics).
Little Big Planet 2 - A fairly redundant sequel, given the constant supply of user-created content in LBP.
Lollipop Chainsaw – A loathsome game that soured me on Suda 51.
The Lord of the Rings: Conquest – My wife refused to help me get the co-op trophies, so I didn’t speak to her for a week.
Lost Planet 2 – I loved it at TGS 2009, was severely disappointed at launch, but came to embrace it after a few patches, once I’d realised that it should only be played in co-op, even if that meant playing with foulmouthed children.
Mafia II – I really enjoyed this 1940s and 1950s gangster romp.
Marvel vs. Capcom 2 – I am useless at (insert name of beat-em-up)
Mass Effect – I never made it past the motherfucking Mako.
Mass Effect 2 – Collect allies, woo allies, lead them on a suicide mission into a human-milkshake factory – the second best game on PS3.
Mass Effect 3 – ME2 was a tough act to follow, but with the exception of the disappointing but far from disastrous endings, I think Bioware did a pretty good job.
Max Payne 3 – A darker game than we are used to getting from Rockstar, but it worked a treat.
Medal of Honor - A solid yet unremarkable return to a series that was once king of the FPS.
Metal Gear Rising - I realise I'm in the minority, but I thoroughly disliked MGR due to its repetitive gameplay, forgettable characters and an ear-grating soundtrack.
Metal Gear Solid 2 HD – It’s not MGS1 or Snake Eater, but MGS2 is a far better game than it gets credit for, and I really enjoyed revisiting it in HD.
Metal Gear Solid 3 HD – The best version of the best game of all time; what more could you want?
Metal Gear Solid 4 – I continue to flip-flop on Sons of the Patriots – I loved it at the time, began to question its excellence as the years passed, replayed it with trophies and reconfirmed its quality, and now I’m back to wondering if I’m overrating it again.
Metal Gear Solid Peace Walker HD – Had I played this as it were intended – on the PSP, in 2010 – I don’t think I’d have been as disappointed.
Military Madness: Nectaris – A functional, space RTS and the first review code I ever received.
Mirror’s Edge – It gave me motion sickness and I didn’t like it enough to put up with the dizziness.
Motorstorm: Apocalypse - High speed racing, brawling and course altering earthquakes made for one of the most enjoyable racers on the PS3.
NBA 2K8 – I lost interest in NBA games in the early 2000s, and 2K8 did little to win me over.
NBA 2K9 – See NBA 2K8.
NBA 2K11 – I was enjoying this for a few days until a new patch bricked my copy, causing it to freeze during the intro movie every, single, fucking, time.
NBA Jam - It looked like the game we all knew and loved, but that’s where the comparisons ended.
Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit - A nice game of cars that introduced the excellent Autolog feature, making it easier to check on the fly whether I was still the worst racer on my friends list.
Need for Speed Most Wanted – Felt like a beige version of Burnout Paradise, which is absolutely a compliment.


Noby Noby Boy – A delightfully bizarre romp through a universe of stretchy shit, boys and girls.
Outland - Better than Dead Nation, but not Super Stardust/Resogun tier.
PAC-MAN Championship Edition DX+ - I was consumed for a solid month, dreaming of ghosts and cherries and battling my friends night-in and night-out for high scores.
Papo & Yo – A simple, stylish and emotional PSN gem that deserved more attention.
Payday: The Heist – Robbing banks with friends should’ve been more fun than this.
Persona 4 Arena – I was desperate for more P4, having just finished Golden, but this was not what I was looking for.
PixelJunk 4am – I had no idea what I was doing but I was happy doing it until the early hours (+alcohol).
PixelJunk Sidescroller – My favourite of the PJ games.
Portal 2 - Lovely in co-op with the portals and all that.
Prince of Persia – A relaxing world of watercolours, where free running and collectibles were your main concerns, and combat was an afterthought.
Puyo Puyo Tetris – I played this a couple of years ago in Japanese, well before all you soon-to-be Johnny-come-latelys.
Red Dead Redemption – The absolute best of Rockstar, in a generation where they hardly put a foot wrong.
Red Faction Guerilla – A fascinating game that knew exactly what it wanted to be - a demolition sim on Mars - and did a really good job of being just that.
Resident Evil 5 – RE2, RE4, RE, RE5, RE7, RE3, RE6 in order of preference.
Resident Evil 6 – It had a couple of decent moments, but overall it was one of the most disjointed AAA games I’ve had the misfortune of playing.
Resistance: Fall of Man – The PS3’s best launch title and the only one to feature an alien-infested Manchester, that I’m aware of.
Resistance 2 – Struck a nice balance between engrossing single player and entertaining multiplayer
Resistance 3 - A solid end to the home console trilogy.
Ridge Racer 7 – One of two games I bought with my PS3, the other being Resistance.
Rise of The Argonauts – Awful game full of big-body, small-headed character models the like of which I cannot stand.
Saints Row: The Third – About as funny as Borderlands, but without the gameplay hook.
Shadow of the Colossus – Whereas ICO felt dated on PS3, SOTC was spellbinding and exceeded my high expectations.
Shadows of the Damned - The last Suda 51 game that was truly worth getting excited about.
Shatter – A perfect marriage of gameplay, visuals and music made this the best game on PSN.
SingStar Guitar – Some guitar orientated tracks to add to our SingStar library, which was very important back in 2010.
SingStar – A fairly decent stand-in for proper karaoke, and the real videos were a nice touch.
Skyrim - Sure it was a bit rough around the edges, but I was still exceedingly happy to sink well over a hundred hours into this world of mead and dragons.
Sleeping Dogs – A fascinating take on the GTA model, which took me completely by surprise.
Sonic & SEGA All-Stars Racing – The best new Sonic game on the PS3 and the best Alex Kidd karter of the last decade.
Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed – Pretty much the same game, which wasn’t a problem.
Sonic Generations – It started well, but the wheels fell off once it reached 3D-era Sonic and I was forced to accept that Sonic hadn’t been good for twenty years.
Sonic the Hedgehog 2 - An all-timer, but a lazy update that was put to shame by the far superior 3DS version.
Sonic the Hedgehog 4 Episode 1 - Another modern Sonic that missed the mark by a country mile.
Sonic's Ultimate Genesis Collection – A brilliant compilation, full of wonderful games and worthwhile extras.
Soul Calibur IV – The fourth game in the Soul Calibur series.
Sound Shapes – Frustrating, rewarding and most of all addictive.
Space Invaders Infinity Gene – It's Space Invaders.
Spec Ops: The Line – A standard third person shooter, memorable for its unique setting and clever take on Hearts of Darkness.


Street Fighter IV – Indestructible, gotta gotta gotta keep on coming, Indestructible, the last man standing (I mained Zangief).
Super Stardust HD - Addictive, colourful and infinitely re-playable, it was exactly the kind of experience I wanted from my PSN games.
Tokyo Jungle – An outstanding concept, but in practice it wasn’t quite as interesting as I had hoped.
Tomb Raider – A much needed and warmly received reboot for a series gone stale.
Tomb Raider: Underworld – Pre-reboot Tomb Raider, so not very good.
Trash Panic – An entertaining and challenging twist on the well-worn, stacking puzzle genre.
Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune – It was love at first sight, as I played through it three times in the space of a week.
Uncharted 2: Among Thieves - The undeniable high point of Naughty Dog’s signature franchise, U2 was the best thing to come out of the last gen and is one of the finest games of all time.
Uncharted 3: Drake's Deception - A little uneven in places, but the final third might be the best extended stretch in the entire series.
Valkyria Chronicles – A wonderful game which I really enjoyed revisiting last year on the PS4.
Vampire Rain: Altered Species – A contender for the worst game I’ve ever played
Vanquish - A bit silly, but silly in a good sliding-on-your-exosuit-knees-while-shooting-future-baddies-in-their-robot-faces kind of way.
The Walking Dead – Telltale games had never appealed, but TWD won me over with its interesting and well written characters, and meaningful moral dilemmas.
The Walking Dead Season 2 – The last game I played on my PS3 and a pretty good one at that.
WWE All Stars – A colourful, arcade fighting game about giant men in pants.
Winning Eleven 2008 – A different football game.
Wipeout HD - Wipeout is nice, but it was nicer twenty years ago.
Worms – It’s worms, what do you want from me?
Yakuza 3 - The game that sold me on Yakuza.
Yakuza 4 – Still the best entry in the series, thanks to its memorable cast of playable characters.
Yakuza 5 – Not my favourite Yakuza, as it was a little bloated, but it still had some outstanding moments.
Yakuza: Dead Souls – A bit shite, yet still thoroughly entertaining.
Zuma – An awful looking but awfully addictive frog/ball puzzle game.

*you may not be in for a treat

Comments

  1. Out of these, Final Fight was my favorite mini review. True words indeed. Mass Effect 1-3 obviously were my favorite games on this list. Shame about Andromeda.....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I still want to try Andromeda at some point, though I'm not expecting much. It went from one of my most anticipated games this gen to an afterthought. Oh well.

      Cheers

      Delete

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